You better craft a bigger litter tray

What do you get if you combine 2 of the last year’s most popular internet searches?  A super-injunction against zumba?  Pippa Middleton’s arse gets a twitter account?  Osama bin Laden killed by dubstep?  Well, possibly, but what I was really thinking of was cats in Minecraft.  Which is exactly what the latest Minecraft update has introduced.

One of the new landscapes, the jungle biome, will now contain Ocelots which can be tamed using raw fish and kept as pets, just like Salvador Dali did (he kept an Ocelot as a pet, I mean.  I have as yet been unable to verify if raw fish were involved).  As the video below demonstrates you can then accrue an army of cats to follow you around like a crazy old cat lady.  Alas, you can’t use them to attack things.  My powers of journalistic insight have also ascertained that they squirt hearts out of their heads for no apparent reason.

Apparently this is all very cute, but on a day when my own cat woke me up at 5am by clawing my neck to shreds I have been unable to see it as anything other than a horrifying nightmare, which is at least in keeping with my interactions with all the other mobs in Minecraft.

That is all!